Another Lifetime
by BethyBoo97
Summary: Jack's preparing to leave but it's getting harder and harder to stick to his plans


It's now or never really, if I don't leave now then I don't think I ever will. If I don't do it now then more hearts will be broken than doing it this way. Life never slows down and it never gets any easier, if there's one thing I've learnt in life it's that.

Today's one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, clear out the house. Tomorrow morning brings an even harder challenge of breaking the news that I'm leaving. Mary and I always promised each other we'd never move but we never took into account that we may end up in the situation we're in, with her dead and me getting that way. I always left her stuff exactly where she left it as it was where she wanted it but knowing I have to move it all is making me want to sit down and give up with this not pack it all up.

I've started downstairs with the kitchen, it's easier to start here and nothing's in the place that Mary left it, not since Brian came to stay. I tried to put everything back the way it was but it never was the same which makes this the easiest. Packing everything in neatly, one by one, I know that this is all pointless because pretty soon i'm not going to need any of this. I need to stop thinking like this because its not going to do me any good but at least the kitchen is done.

Soon enough I'm finished the house apart from mine and Mary's room. I've never been through her stuff, apart from her jewellery box and photo box. As I clear out my side of the wardrobe I find my suit that I wore the day we got married, and I can't help but find myself thinking back.

We got married on a snowy day late in 1965, I thought the weather would ruin it but Mary said it made everything even better. She always did love snow, she loved the way it glittered and made everything look magical. We got married in our local church, pretty but plain, just how we liked it. She looked gorgeous in a long straight white dress, not like all the meringue type dresses you get today, it was simple but stunning just like her. We held the reception back at our house to save a bit of money, we were young and unlike people these days we didn't want to start married life in debt. So that was our wedding day; the best day of my life and what I like to remember when I think of Mary.

My stuffs all packed and I'm now onto Mary's. I take each of her many dresses out of the wardrobe one at a time and I find my mind wandering to wherever she wore the particular dress in my hands. It's not to difficult as for every event she bought herself a new dress, she refused to wear the same one twice but then also refused to chuck any out. She always told me she'd wear them another day, whenever we were doing a clear out, I always knew she wouldn't but I let her keep them to avoid any arguments. For all the dresses she has though she was not a materialistic kind of person, she always thought memories, diaries and photos was more important and that they showed wealth and a more important kind than lots of clothes did. I'm now faced with the box that she hid behind her clothes, filled with sentimental things. I've never been through it before, I thought that in a way it was betraying her trust, I don't know what's changed but I know feel ready to look through them. Opening the lid to the silvery box I find its split into decades, it hardly surprises me though, she was always a sucker for organisation. On top though stuck to the inside of the lid, there's an envelope that's been stuck on that says my name. I know it's strange because its most likely a letter from her but I'm two minds about whether to open it. On one hand anything she has to say is very important to me but on the other hand I'm not sure the content will be positive or what I want to hear.

Subconsciously i've picked the letter up and i'm now staring at a page of her handwriting.

'To my darling, Jack,

If you're reading this then I'm probably not still with you, because if you're reading this and I am then you won't be with me much longer.

I know that by the time you've found this I'll be dead maybe long gone, maybe not. Either way I want you to know how much I love you and that I always have. I'm sorry I couldn't give you what you wanted most, a baby. I'm sorry for all those pointless arguments we had because I got paranoid, I'm sorry for anything I ever did wrong. I know now that you'll be sitting there thinking of everything you think you ever did wrong but know you're forgiven for every single one of them. When you think of me, think of the happy times not my death and however I died.

If you've managed to get to my box then you've either found yourself in a difficult situation where you have to move or someone you care about has managed to persuade you to let go a little bit.

I hope you've not been too bad since I left and have managed to carry on with normal life. Don't ever give up on anything that made you happy, I learnt that and if that's all you get from this then that's for but remember I love you.

Mary x'

I look down at the letter and read over and over and over again. I can't believe i've found this, if i'd known i'd have read a lot sooner. I can't believe how well Mary knew me and now I know I have to do what I'd planned. I've now finished packing up the house and now its the question of Mary's memorial.

I've walked down the stairs and into the garden to and sat on my beloved bench ready to talk to Mary one more time.

"Hello my love, I'm so sorry it's come to this you see I've even been protecting you from the truth about what's going on. Try not to worry but I have terminal cancer which means I'll be joining you soon. I'm moving to France to the little place we always said we'd move to when we were both retired. As much as I'd like to stay here its just not possible anymore. You remember Sandra? And I told you about Brian, Esther and Gerry, well as much as none of them will admit it the truth will break their hearts so if I leave before the inevitable happens then it isn't affect them as much."

I've got her urn in my hands and put it into a box full of bubble wrap ready to take it with me, I've decided to spread her ashes in France because its where we chose to be together.

Everything's ready in the car now it's just a question of essentials being in the house so that I can go to bed tonight and get ready for my last day of work in the morning. Today has been the third hardest day of my life so far, coming third after the day Mary died and her funeral. I know though tomorrow could possibly change those rankings when I have to say goodbye to my best friends and my second family.


End file.
